Wednesday, November 30, 2005
oH 2DAE day went on well
Woke up at 9
Cudn't sleep at all
Maybe cause his msges makes me alert
Tossed n turned in bed
Forcing myself to sleep till 11
Dammit, here's my non-sch day n i'm awake
Tried my best to get back to sleep but failed
So went to take my shower
Looong super shower for 1 hr 10 mins
hehehe!
if my lady hears this she's gonna scream right at my face
WASTING WATER...ELECTRICITY BILL!
I've heard that part of the nagging thousand and one time
But still i feel nothing towards it
I'm being senseless to that matter
Todae,I did housework leh
AFTER SO LONG
eh..good gal ah
I washed the clothes
Hand wash noe
Don play play
Then cooked
Read up on bacteria and took dwn notes
And at the same time ate Ice-cream! CORNETTO!
While i was dwn there seriously studying my bro was so stunned
Asked him wat's wrng and there he went
"U're studying..OMG is that you? Anything went into You or what..Last i saw u was in Sec 4 studying like crazy...2 solid years u didn't study like this right!!"
He was luffing away like nobody's business
Bloody hell...
Actually i felt pretty gd studying
Looking at books
taking dwn notes
True enuff, sec 4 was the last time i did all these
That's why i feel so damn shiok to study now
I'll continue doing so
I've got no time to waste
I've wasted enuff
Somebody give me the goddamn will power, motivation and confidence to help me finally stop fucking around and just get work done, and on time.
Or well,I'll give it to myself
After 2 days he called frm his work
Was very surprising
For the past 2 days onli msges frm him
N the reply was so damn ******* slow
Can't blame him
He's not supposed to use the phone at all
But he still does use to msg me in between thou he was caught and screwed up by his officer wen msging
The past 2 days,
Msging days.
So wen today he called, I was like WOW..Baby's calling!
We spoke...
Felt so much better
The msges still rot the day
Phonecalls rock the day
CAuse i hear his voice
I mizz him many many
:(
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
~i'm just hooked to this song~
BABY BOY YOU STAY ON MY MIND
FULFILL MY FANTASIES
I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME
I SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS
BABY BOY NOT A DAY GOES BY
WITHOUT MY FANTASIES
I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME
I SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS
PICTURE US DANCIN REAL CLOSE
IN A DARK DARK CORNER OF A BASEMENT PARTY
EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES
IT'S LIKE EVERYONE LEFT BUT YOU AND ME
IN OUR OWN LITTLE WORLD
THE MUSIC IS THE SUN
THE DANCE FLOOR BECOMES THE SEA
FEELS LIKE TRUE PARADISE TO ME
BABY BOY YOU STAY ON MY MIND
FULFILL MY FANTASIES
I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME
I SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS
BABY BOY NOT A DAY GOES BY
WITHOUT MY FANTASIES
I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME
I SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS
BABY BOY YOU STAY ON MY MIND
BABY BOY YOU ARE SO DAMN FINE
BABY BOY WON'T YOU BE MINE
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
I'm done with my proffesional profiling proposal
I'm chooooooooooooo happy!
Yipiee yayo
Yipiee yayo...
The time i stepped into school today i was searching for companies or proffessionals to be interviewed.
So damn annoying
Cause i Didn't get what i want
I wan something interesting to be worked on
I don wanna fall asleep while interviewing the person
Right frm 8.45 till 11
Thinking y 8.45 instead of 8.30?
I CAME LATE
WAHAHAHAHA!
anyway, finally got hold of a company to work on
The Heath Science Authority
Quickly submitted my proposal
Now feel so damn shiok
So relac
Have to wait 4 them to approve my proposal And i can start the interview
It was such a burden
Now i've got to clear my CE POINTS
Another headache
Today's lesson i understand nuts
Nuts man nuts
Again bloody DNA and stuff
wa laneh...
Somemore so long
the mechanishms
-direct reversal
-base excision mechanisms
-Recombinational repair
-Nucleotide excision repair
And it goes on and on and on
This chemical...this group function..tat one gone how..this one gone how
Bullshit man
Oru manum puriyalae
Arghhh!
I've got alot to catch up during the holidays
I have to
I've got no choice
I've got to push myself
Can't afford to be lazy
Haiz...right now i'm feeling so sleepy
Omy!
Wanna reach home early and get to my bed
comfy comfy
hehe!
Tmr no sch
MY so called off day
Gonna wake up super late n stuff myself with all the tasty food,ice-cream etc.
Hopefully it rains tmr..
muackz!
It's him all Day long :)
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Monday, November 28, 2005
Bad Immuno Test
flop.flop.flop.
Bad Stomach ache
Bad hearing
* Cut yr hp line n buy top-up card n use*
-she's going on and on and on
-I pay my hp bill oso she got prob
-Kadavulae!
I'm broke
-I need more students to teach....
*help!*
Pp proposal submission dateline's on wednesday
I'm mizzing him..can't meet him for 2 weeks
-2 blardy Long weeks
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Friday, November 25, 2005
Believe it or not
I'm unpredictable
Indecisive
My mood swings
Will put u off
CAuse i'm so difficult
Wen u expect me to cry...i'll be luffing dwn there
wen u expect me to be luffing ...i'll be crying dwn there
I may appear strong but what lies deep dwn.. no one noes
But me
Myself
Lost love
True love
New found love
Memories
sweet
bitter
All leave a scar behind even if the person has left
It can't be erased
Therefore,
It can't be forgotten
After all Y do u have memory power then?
I still enjoy recalling the day where i found the true love
My him
11 of october
If only he called me and had wished me on my birthday exactly at 12, i wud not hav bothered abt anything
Just a thankz
and then off to slp
Just another casual guy friend of mine
Tat wud hav been him
Luckily...or shd i sae fated
He didn't call till 12.45
I called him n asked him y didn't he wish
I was very mad that he didn't wish me
I expected him to wish me cos the person who i thought would not give a damn to wish me did
That night we spoke till 5
God's greatest birthday gift was him
It all happened so quick
Yet sweet and lasting
It doesn't mean that u noe a person for a short period of time u noe nuts abt him or her
Even in a short period of time u can understand each other well
Many hav a wrng understanding in this area
It depends on how outspoken u r & how frank u are
This wud allow the other party to noe yr real character
To noe u inside out
****i RECIEVED this comment frm an unwanted person last time!!..do u even noe his address? how come u go stead... noe nuts abt him!****
Yea i didn't noe...
All i noe was that he stayed in admiralty
True enuff...
But address important to go stead ah?
No address cannot go stead ah!!
Then what wud u say to those ppl who r out there even after knowing each other's address still fuck each other upside dwn after freaking long years of relationship,go arnd flirting,having sex with another person, cheating their gf or bf, breaking years of bond in 1 second!!
They noe address mah...Then y like that?
Y is the relationship so fucked up?
Oh ya..now i noe his address
But that doesn't make me understand him moreCAUSE address has NOTHING to do with the understanding of the couple
It's so true
U can never make the person feel better after u throw out words
Even if u apologise
It still pricks deep dwn inside
Cause memories come back in an instant
U never noe wat's waiting 4 u... do u?
Loving him till my last breath
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
I got these from the web..
Hehehe...seems nice,cute n true!
How To Impress a Woman
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
compliment her
cuddle her
kiss her
caress her
love her
stroke her
tease her
comfort her
protect her
hug her
hold her
spend money on her
buy things for her
listen to her
care for her
stand by her
support her
go to the ends of the earth for her
________-_____________-_________________-_______________-____________-______________
Things We Do To Drive Men Crazy!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Do not say what we mean. Ever.
2. Be ambiguous. Always.
3. Cry. Cry often.
4. Bring things up that were said, done, or thought years, months, or decades ago...or with other boyfriends.
5. Make them apologize for everything.
6. Stash feminine products in their cars, backpacks and in their books as cute reminders that you were thinking of them.
7. Look them in the eye and start laughing.
8. Get mad at them for everything.
9. Discuss your period in front of them. Watch them squirm.
10. Demand to be called or e-mailed. Often. Whine when they don't comply.
11. When complimented, make sure to be paranoid. Take nothing at face value.
12. Use daddy as a weapon. Tell them about his gun collection, his quick trigger finger, and his affection for his Little Princess.
13. Be late for everything. Yell if they're late.
14. Talk about your ex-boyfriend 24 - 7. Compare and contrast.
15. Make them guess what you want and then get mad when they're wrong.
16. Plan little relationship anniversaries, i.e. the monthly anniversary of the time you saw each other in the library...for five minutes. Then get mad at them for forgetting. Then cry.
17. Gather many female friends and dance to "I Will Survive" while they are present. Sing all the words. Sing to them. Sing loud.
18. Constantly claim you're fat. Ask them. Then cry, regardless of their answer.
19. Leave out the good parts in stories.
20. Make them wonder. Confusion is a good thing.
21. Criticize the way they dress.
22. Criticize the music they listen to.
23. Ignore them. When asked, "What's wrong?" tell them that if they don't know, you're not going to tell them.
24. Try to change them.
25. Try to mold them.
26. Try to get them to dance.
27. When they screw up, never let them forget it.
28. Make them stay at religious services until they are close to fainting...just because.
29. Blame everything on PMS.
30. Whenever there is silence ask them, "What are you thinking?"
31. Read into everything..
32. Over-analyze everything.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What Women Need to Know: 20 Things Men Find Irresistible
Listen up, ladies! Men love it when you:
Have the ability to tease, be playful and take a joke
Wear our T-shirts and boxers
Call them out of the blue (if dating; not to wen practically strangers)
Kiss creatively
Have a social conscience and enjoy a good debate
Have an easy-going attitude about watching or participating in athletic events occasionally
Ask for advice about non-stereotypically male stuff (yes, guys usually know what CD player to buy, but we like to be taken seriously about other things too)
Are charming and thoughtful to his mother
Are sexy and smart at the same time
Have the ability to remind them what gifts we like, without implying an obligation
Have a spirit of independence, but one that doesn't make the man in your life feel unnecessary
Know the difference between flirting and just ''being friendly''
Eat a big meal and fearlessly order dessert
Take naps next to them
Send them flowers (believe it or not, men like getting flowers, too!)
Know what you want
Know what you want to do
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
I woke up late today
The weather was so nice
So nice to sleep
N yea...so u c its not my fault totally
hahahaha..
I onli woke up at 8
Luckily, it was auto
A daily auto wake-up
I wake up in between my slp to check my phone 4 msges frm him
So woke up frm my deep slp knowing that he wud have msged
Took my phone
read his 3 msges
So sweet n loving
Looked at the time
IT WAS 8
My class starts at 8.30 and at 8 i was still in bed
Wa dammit...
MsGed both sharme n him that i just woke up
Quickly got out of my bed...went to take my shower
But u noe wat?
the best part was that i didn't rush
Can't be bothered about being late
Cos it was blardy long winded bitch christina's class
She will drag the lesson like nobody's business
such a pain in the ass la she
Omy...did i fold my blankie b4 comin to sch?
Did i make my bed?
Aiyohyoh...i can't remember
Nvm..let's continue!
So as i was saying..i reached sch onli at 9.20
On the way i saw the 2 fucking bitches who got ntn better to do but just to stare
Damn irritating
But today never stare
Strange huh..
Maybe stare till eye got problem now alreadi
These type of morons cannot make it...
AH heck it...!
Anyway, by the time i came in the first meeting was over
The pro late comer
But today i very efficent..
I read the problem statement once i came into class and within half an hour i did 5 slides alreadi
Gd ah...
But sad to say, after that no more work to be done
soo damn freakin boring
Then went to friendster to customize
Just wanted to try something out
Rather than dying in boredom
Letting the ass rot
Now i'm done with that too
Haiz..can't see him todae
His exercise thingy has stared
Till the BLARDYYYYYYYYYYY 8TH OF DEC
stupid.bloody.shit.hectic army
Argh!!!
I'll be going home early for the next 1 week
Sch finish straight go back home
Good gal eh!
hehehehe!
I mizz my darling soo much...
I'm getting so fuckin pissed off nowadays
EVen to the smallest thing that anyone says
Any fucking jokes abt my love ones makes me go mad
So watch out yr fucking mouth abt wat u say
Don carry that fucking ass arnd to talk cock or to provoke me
It might be a joke to u
BUT NOT TO ME!
Thankz 4 yr fucking co-operation!
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
You mean the world to me...
Just wanna let you know
And the thing I fear most
is having to let you go
I wake up
thinking of you
all day long
You're mine
from yr bad habits to yr enchanting smile
I want to be with you forever
as I said before.
I just realised something about life
All the time i complained
But now...
I realize that Life is a given gift for many
Past sorrows will no longer exist
In our minds and bodies the light exuberates
We release the fears of the past
And finally we discover and embrace
what is given to us,
Life, is more than just a gift.
Is enduring and kind
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Monday, November 21, 2005
| Your Seduction Style: Prized Object |
The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get.
You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them.
The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase.
You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away.
You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance.
Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't!
You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors.
Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor.
You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for. |
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
What caught my attention was all the talk about "nice guys."
Has been going on 4 a long while.
Time to ponder abt it.
Despite some men and women comments saying that "nice guys" are just nice and that they only want to be treated fairly around women, the impression I have always had about "nice guys" was that they are just as ego-centric and self-righteous as "jerks." They just go about it in a different way. They've co-opted feminist language in saying that they are "sensitive" and "empathetic," yet they complain that women are not interested in them. MOst of the guys nowadays, have co-opted feminist language in the hope that it would be easier for them to get women in bed. These guys are the center of their own universes, and they think all the problems they have with women are the women's fault, not theirs. These guys think that since women don't want to date them, then the women must prefer to date "jerks." It's an either-or thing with them. The women are not the problem. When did these guys get the idea that if they are "nice" to a woman that she owes them attention, a date, or even sex? dON'T They hav an idea how annoying n irritating they seem to the women?
The "nice guy" doesn't understand that a woman is not obligated to devote all her undying time to him, date him, or have sex with him simply because he pays attention to her and because he's "nice" and doesn't treat her like a "jerk."
It seems these guys view men and women in dichotomous ways. There are "nice guys" and "jerks," nothing in between. No gray area.
Likewise, for women, they are either put up on a pedestal or they are bitches - presumably the bitches are not interested in dating the "nice guys" who have gone out of their way to shower them with lots of unwanted attention. A nice guy is socially punished because he does not 'strike back' when aroused with violence by the modern female.
I have found "nice guys" to be just as shallow and self-centered as "jerks." They are operating from their own sense of male entitlement, not from a position of real communication, courtesy, and respect between men and women. Their means of expressing their shallowness and self-centeredness is merely different from that of the "jerk." Nice guys are suffocating. The "nice guy" wants to be rewarded for his behavior, and he expects his female target to do the awarding because he's been so "nice." This kind of relationship isn't a relationship between equals. It's one of entitlement.
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Aunt's hse warming
shd have gone there at 5 in the morning
But then..erm SUNDAY LEH!!
sleeping time
Onli once a week..
So my mum, dad And sis went early in the morning
Hahaha....i went 4 lunch
Kinda of naughty huh
But who cares..
BEAUTY sleep matters
So yep, went over there in the afternoon..
They started loading all the furnitures
HEy..durgi... Loga sithapa came
haha..
As usual his crap n nonsense all came out
He complain saying i good to supervise onli
Never come to help the day he called me to
But he arr...thou i never do any work give me chocolate all
Pampered by him
muahahaha!!
But gal..it was boring without u
Realli it was
My khaki missing
If u had been there wud have been more fun
Haiz...
Anyway, i just helped to place some of the things at the specific places
Did some work here n there la
But was more involved with chocos
HEHE!
Donnoe why ...nowadays getting sooo lazy
Okie..i just came across this!
Rasonz y guyz luv galz*
N my own comments in the brackets...muahaha!
1. They will always smell good even if
its just shampoo.
2. The way their heads always find the right spot
on our shoulder <*Ahem*>
3. How cute they look when they sleep. (???)
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms. (oOOooPZ)
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden
everything is right in
the world (Close 1 eye)
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in
the end it makes it
all
worth while
8. Because they are always warm even when its
minus 30 outside (YiPEeEe)
9. The way they look good no matter what they
wear.
10. The way they fish for compliments even
though you both know that you tink she's the most beautiful thing on this earth (yep.yep)
11. How cute they are when they argue <~shrugz~>
12. The way her hand always finds yours <~ginz~>
13. The way they smile (Yea...get my way out)
14. The way you feel when you see their name on
the caller ID after you just had a big fight. (Oei gerard really ah? u better tell me abt his)
15 The way they kiss when you do something
nice for them.
16.The way they kiss you when you say "I love
you"
17.Actually ... just the way they kiss you... (sheeesh!)
18.The way they fall into your arms when they cry (OooOOh,haben haben)
19.The way they hit u and expect it to hurt. (Hehe..all play play)
20. the way they apologize when it does
hurt. (even though I don't admit it!)
21.The way they say "I miss you"
22.the way you miss them (Fantastic..muz miss everyday k?)
Okie...sounds very true.
Hmmmm...
I'm gonna slp now
Byez!
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Friday, November 18, 2005
My life was young
My life was good
Tat's wat i can remember
That was once upon a time
It was great
Had a lot on my mind.
In my heart I feel its no more
Its gone as this cruel world spins
And now i feel like there is no one here for me
Even if someone says i'll be there 4 u 4ever
I wonder how long is yr 4ever
For All the people who i believed in
Who were close to me
Whom i wanted, to be by my side oways
LEFT
Just left without a word
My Once Closest guy friend i had
He was the first guy friend whom i realli considered close to
My other guy friend
My dear nisha
N a few more
I realli wonder y i've got to go thru all this
I didn't pray to god to get to noe them
They came
They showed the path
They stood beside
Thru tough times n good times
Laughed together
Cried together
N in an instant they left
Can the memories be erased?
I still hear the verses they once said
Wen i go to shops... i get reminded of wat he/she likes
The places that i went with them makez me recall everything
I remember their fav colours
I remember the simple words that they said
For once THEY WERE CLOSE
REAL CLOSE THAT WORDS CAN'T EXPLAIN
How does it feel
To be carelessly crushed
Under a heel?
A beautiful flower
Trying to grow,
Pulled up by its roots.
Does it know ?
A carefree bird
Up in the sky,
Shot by a gun.
Does it wonder why?
A cruel world
Right from the start.
The things people do
Break the heart
I'm human too
DAmn cruel world!
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Thursday, November 17, 2005
I just feel that he did a grave mistake
Knowingly or unknowingly
I wasn't expecting this
I was damn fucking shocked
I swear
Yea, i do trust u
But we are gonna face more of it frm today onwards
U may deny
U may be so confident
But we hav to start facing
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Some Bastards n bitches are just soo fucking annoying
They can ask You questions when they alreadi noe the details
Which is all fake
Lies
Fucking annoying
Get a life for yrself will u ppl
Y be so fuckin nosy
It's the other person's life
It's their way of ruling
Cos fucking hell its THEIR LIFE LA GOD DAMMIT
U heard the story frm the blardy fucking other end And y the hell r u up with questions?
Pretending as if u donnoe even one hell of a shit
Y fucking hell pretend
U listen to them
Then fucking hell listen la
Ask info dwn here also
Then still think that wat u fucking hell have gathered frm all those fuckin ppl is true
They r just fucking morons just like u
Wat are u trying to prove
U're innocent?
Fuckin hell..u r annoyin..KPO...fuck it off
Dress only in yr colored clothes idiot
Y EXPLORE PERSONAL ISSUES
I could have sworn at u n said, "snap, krackle, FUCK YOU!"
But stupid or mean, and especially both, I don't do.
Well...fuckin' WAaaah. Have the courage to stand up for what you believe in and say what you mean, or move out of my way
Don be jealous too
Just cos yr life is fuckin miserable doesn't mean i ought to have one
Blardy morons
SEnseless piece of shit
Get a fucking life will u
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Monday, November 14, 2005
Such a beautiful dae
Everything went on well
As usual, Gerard came to fetch me frm sch
We decided to follow sharme to hougang
she was gonna give tution
He badly wanted the three of us to go out todae
Cud see frm that face
haha...
So yep..took 132 all the way dwn to hougang
Our bus ride was simply fantastic
We were chatting
talking some sense
Alot of senseless stuff
Luffing at ourselves
Cracking stupid jokes n all
I mean...its so nice to c yr guy n yr best friend being close too
Being understanding towards each other
It takes more than caring
To be a real friend
The nature of friendship
Requires a blend
Of warmest compassion
And love deep and true
To reach and to comfort
The way that you do
Not everyone is gifted noe
I'm so happy to be lucky in this matter
O yea, after we reached hougang
Went to makan
COs as usual i complained that i was hungry
The waffer was calling me
hehe...
But u noe wat...didn't eat waffer
Instead ate nasi goreng and mee goreng
Sharme n i ordered both of this dish n shared
I tell u..was damn shiok la
Not the food
The sharing
I donnoe y..i soo happy
haha..cos after veri long time i guezz
Then he bought 3 cans of drinkz
That's wat turned out to be comical
The 3 of us opened each other's can at the same time n poured into the cups accordingly n it went around in a circle...
She was pouring 4 me, i was pouring 4 him n he was pouring 4 her
All auto..
Same timing somemore
haha....
SO damn cute!!
After sending her to her tution place...we sat under a block for 1 hr n then left the place
He passed me my birthdae present today
WAS so damn sweet
The card
The words he said
So meaningful n so true
Written by him
Decorated by him
His handwriting so neat
A beautiful photo frame which was nicely wrapped
Looked more like it was done up by the shop
But he wrapped...
So pro in wrapping
Noe wat..my wrapping skill just sucks to the core
I've got no patience for that
bUT HE SIMPLY ROCKZ AT ALL THIS
He had scanned my baby pics,the photos we took together & the photos we took with sharme n had done it up soo nicely n put it up!
Real sweet...
A present which is totally done by the person u luv sure captures yr attention n heart more than a gift which is bought
Cos..the hard work is there
The love is visible n oways treasured
The trouble u go thru to get the thing done
The distance u travel to get the pieces together
It's just treasured so much
Thankz alot for the gift baby!
I love u sooo much!!!!
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Sunday, November 13, 2005
u stupid arse darling of mine
U don tock cock can
Both gerard n I wan u to come along with us
U don tok nonsense
We hav our own time
Don feel paiseh or watsoever
WE enjoy it more wen u r arnd
Once in a while come 4 movie with us
Join us wen we call u idiot sharme
It's true that we need our own time
thankz 4 the understanding
WE DO HAV OUR OWN TIME
SO WEN WE CALL U OUT WITH US..GET YR BUTT OUT!
hehe!!!
okieya?!
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Saturday, November 12, 2005
I just saw her post
After posting mine
Read hers
It really hurts deep dwn to see it
She's feeling so lonely
I m to be blamed
Not going out with her after sch
Our outings are tremendously cut dwn
My grandad was hospitalised
I cudn't spend time with him n her
We do call each other everyday
Now its not
WE DO CALL...but there's a gap in between
where it didn't even exist b4
But she doesn't noe my side
I hav always wanted to call her every single day as usual
But the truth is that i'm so afraid
afraid that she might just voice out
"NOW ONLI U GOT THE TIME TO CALL ME IZZIT?"
It may just seem a simple sentence to u
But to me, it makes a big difference
I don wanna hear those harsh words
It wud really prick
It wud bleed internally
No one wud ever be able to see it
I noe how i m feeling deep dwn
Sometimes, i do wanna call her even if there's a one day gap in between
The next dae i wish to call her
BUt the whole fucking sentnence just comes ot my mind
SHE HAS NEVER SAID IT
i'm just afraid that she might sae it
I'm afraid cos she's the one and onli close friend of mine
we share so many similariteis together
she was there 4 me thru thick n thin
good or bad
She was there 4 me wen i needed her
she cried together with me
laughed together with me
we went thru every single thing together
Never do i wanna loose her
But now all my fears, just came true
She's feeling
Sh thinks she lost me
I'm not close to her
I m
I do wanna spend time with u
U sure noe how much u mean to me
It's not like i've forgotten wat i've said to u
I'm not blaming u
I did wanna spend time with u
It is supposed to be the coming week
We are supposed to go out
He repeats it to me thousand n 1 times
"LET'S ALL GO OUT WITH HER 1 DAY...SHE SHDN'T BE LEFT OUT..WATEVER IT IS, B4 I CAME U WERE TOGETHER...I DON WANNA LET HER FEEL LEFT OUT..I WAN HER TO JOIN US..i WAN BOTH OF U 2 BE LIKE WAT U WERE B4!"
Every single day he repeats this
Like 1 tape recorder
Real thankful he is ike this
Can't find guys who wan their gf to be close to the friend like last time n spend time with her
Never did i tell u this
I donnoe y
I just feel so afraid nowadays..i don wan u to feel that u've lost me or i've lost u
I don wish to sae that he said this..
I just wanna plan and then we 3 go out
But now seeing those sentences..i can't bear
I've never been so emotional b4
I'm not even that type
I feeling damn low
I don't noe y don't ppl see my life too
I've got to keep everyone happy
My best friend( that's oways..a MUZT to me! i've oways wanted her to b happy)
My normal friendz
My guy
My family members
-mum's not feeling well
My grandparents
-grandad just had an operation
-granny's not feeling well
My aunts n uncles
- all these ppl are just making my mum's condition worsen
Every single person expects me to be there
My mum tells me she mizzes me
I was so hurt
I told him that we won't be meeting..thou i was free n he was on leave
I spent my day at home with her
He understood n gave way
The other day ..my off day
a wednesday...
He went for medical checkup
told me that he wud want to meet me after that
i was free
thou i was blardy free..
i told him that we shall meet on thursday
I mizzed spending time withmy brother
So arranged to go out 4 lunch together with him
onli me n him
he gave way to that too
he understood
Thankz for being so understanding
Pls be till the end
I wanna be there to
I sincerly wanna be there every single moment
I don loose anything wen i'm with my loved ones
i ONLI FEEL treasured by them
It's not like i spend the whole day with him
I onli meet him arnd 5...
WE hav dinner..spend abt 3 hrs together n then i've got to head back home
Once i head back home..i've got to look at my family
I've got to talk to them
Hav to do my daily fucking rjs,quiz
Got to do my readings
Saturdays..I don even meet him
SUNDAES ARE OUT OF THE QUESTION
I'm NOT GLUED TO HIM
I'M NOT STUCK TO HIM
I JUST LOVE HIM
I LOVE MY LOVE oNES TO
I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND TOO...
I'VE NEVER FOUGHT WITH HER
WATEVER FUCKING WORDS ARE USED ALSO NEVER DO WE GET MAD AT EACH OTHER
TILL NOW, ITS BEEN LIKE THIS
i wan it to remain like this 4ever
I'll go all the way to make it be like that 4ever
Even wen i see her post i didn't get angry
I just feel low
I m to be blamed
i GUEZZ
no need to guezz
it is me
alreadi 1 of whom she is close to has moved away
Not willingly
that's 4 sure
she's making her attempts to come back now (nisha)
She's welcome whole heartedly by me
So of cos, she would feel worried
distance did show up
But that wasn't gonna be permanent
I can't blame her
Even if i'm in her shoes..
I wud definetlty react even worse than this
I need u till the end
U noe it
U noe how much u mean to me
haiz..
I can't even cry it out
that's my prob
everyone wud feel better if they cry it out
I'm not that type at all
I can't bring myself to cry
so its so damn fucked up
I just hope in another 1 week's time
He doesn't utter a word
Doesn't sae that i'm not spending time with him
Cause he's gonna go back to work
last week of leave
Wen he goes back he's gonna hav something on
So weekends wud be the onli days that we wud be able to meet each other
But saturdays and sundays aren't my days
Look..i'M at home today!!
A saturday!!
A ROTTING SATURDAY
mum's not feeling well
mentally n physcially drained out
trynna get her back on track
Grandad's giving so much of a shit
ill-treating granny n his children
I fought with him, till i didn't even enter his hse till he came back frm hospital
I didn't go to visit him
wat's the point if u r gonna treat everyone like a dirt
i just can't take it
Never did i voice out all this fucking shit i m goin thru
i don wish to make anyone upset
i wan everyone to be happy
i wan the ppl i luv to noe that i will oways be there
i don wan anyone to feel insecure
fm my best friend to my parents to my guy
i hate it wen u feel insecure arnd me
cos it makes me feel so fucking guilty
sometimes....don ever be so happy that u r being loved unconditionally
COS THINGS TAKE A BIG TURN!
never wud u be able to digest it
I wrote a whole lot
poured out i guezz
I don wan anyone to be upset due to this post
i wanted to sae it out i said it out
i DON BLAME ANYONE
BUT MYSELF
I'LL DO WATEVER TO BE THERE 4 EVERYONE
JUST HAVE TO JUGGLE WITH ALOT
ITS NOT EASY WEN IT COME TO HUMAN BEINGS
MULTI TASKING THE DIFFERNT RELATIONSHIP
THE DIFFERENT BONDS!
i'm sorry
bye
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Friday, November 11, 2005
Our 1 month anniversary!
Thankz to the darlingz who wished us
Sharme darling,my pandi akka & nisha
It was splendid.
Baby bought me a gift 1 day earlier and passed it to me
CHO SWEET!!!
We took neoprints
Turned out soo well
He even decorated
His decoration..choice of backgrounds was real nice
Real gifted to hav him
Truly understands me
Even better..n that is..yea same taste
I just love u sooooooo Much baby
Wish there's a better way to show the extent of it rather than telling i love u all the time
hehe.
Caught JUST LIKE HEAVEN
After the movie finished, went to starbucks 4 a drink
So loooong since i entered starbucks man
I mizzed it alot
He ordered ice coco N drank
Was real nice
The taste of it
Marvellous
I just love to hav a drink at starbuckz
Never do i refuse if i'm invited
muahaha..
Okie, after the drink
We headed to marina bay
Was his idea
He loves to get to the seaside too
Makes it so much easier 4 me
No need to voice out
All auto
ARnd 7.10 we reached there
Just right
mood
atmosphere...
Standing near the sea area...
The flow of the water
Blue, blue waters, with soft white foam
the moon
the waves
The tide comes in, and moves back out
Just like the ups n dwns in relationships
nO mAttEr wAt... U'vE gOt To pULl ThRu
I see the future of our understanding love
Reacalling the life we share
Hearts filled with gladness
Its more than wat these words can say
My love for you is simple, deep, and strong
I know now . . . where my heart belongs
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Class so damn annoying
Pathways
Alternative pathway
Classical pathway
Complement C3
Bacterial infection
We've got to cover all these sucky areas
It's interesting
But
BUT...
Alot of information
Going on
Pages by pages
Sometimes i realli ask myself..how the hell m i gonna pull thru
So much of info
So much to absorb
MY GOODNESS!!
I've got nowhere to hide
I've got no choice
I have to go thru all these
Even if i like it or not
I do like the course i'm doing
But sometimes..it's just too much to take
My mood
Mood swings
*I just hate it wen ntn happens...n then my mood just goes off*
TRIED LISTENING TO SONGS
gangini,sivakazi,malai...
Over n over n over again
Till i'm sick n tired of them
But it wud onli b 4 now
Pissing me off
Sickening
haiz.
Thinking Abt tmr...
Hmmm...
ON cloud nine liao
1 month
yea..1 month anniversary
I just love U soo MUCH
It seems like its gonna rain
I realli realli wish it rains
PLS RAIN!!!!
PLS!!
i WANNA get drenched
I would feel so much better
I donnoe y
I'm like tat la
I just LOVE to get wet in the rain!!!!!!!!!!!
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Monday, November 07, 2005
| How You Life Your Life |
You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down. |
| How You Are In Love |
You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.
| Your Birthdate: October 11 | 
Spiritual and thoughtful, you tend to take a step back from the world.
You're very sensitive to what's going on around you, yet you remain calm.
Although you are brilliant, it may take you a while to find your niche.
Your creativity is supreme, but it sometimes makes it hard for you to get things done.
Your strength: Your inner peace
Your weakness: You get stuck in the clouds
Your power color: Emerald
Your power symbol: Leaf
You tend to give more than take in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
Your power month: November |
| You Are Practically Plastic |
You're so beautiful that it's almost unreal
Unfortunately, you're attitude's a little unreal too
Everyone knows you're super hot - no need to remind them
You've got it going on, so stop obsessing! |
| You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls |
You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back.
You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl. |
| You are a Good Girlfriend |
Maybe too good of a girlfriend, in fact.
You will do almost anything for your guy.
And while that makes you a great girlfriend...
In this case, it also makes you a doormat |
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Saturday, November 05, 2005
I miss him more than ever
His face glued in my mind
I miss him so much
I miss the man of mine
He makes me feel so safe
So protected and secure
How I miss his touch
I miss your whisper of "I love you so much"
It's so worse
Till i told him over the phone
I don't usually say
He tries his best to get it out frm my mouth
N he fails in his attempt all the time
Today, without him forcing i told it myself
That idiot can luff so happily
Haiz...
Having terrible headache too
All of a sudden
No mood 4 anything
Just feel like spending time with him
But today's totally impossible
My goodness
1 more day to pass
STUPID IDIOTIC SUNDAY
irritating sia
Have to wait till monday to see him
ARGHHH!!
Monday got immunology test
Sickening
I'm mizzing him terriblyyyyyyyyyy
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
I miss him more than ever
His face glued in my mind
I miss him so much
I miss the man of mine
He makes me feel so safe
So protected and secure
How I miss his touch
I miss your whisper of "I love you so much"
It's so worse
Till i told him over the phone
I don't usually say
He tries his best to get it out frm my mouth
N he fails in his attempt all the time
Today, without him forcing i told it myself
That idiot can luff so happily
Haiz...
Having terrible headache too
All of a sudden
No mood 4 anything
Just feel like spending time with him
But today's totally impossible
My goodness
1 more day to pass
STUPID IDIOTIC SUNDAY
irritating sia
Have to wait till monday to see him
ARGHHH!!
Monday got immunology test
Sickening
I'm mizzing him terriblyyyyyyyyyy
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
Friday, November 04, 2005
Went with baby boy today to his friend's(vicky)hse
Deepavali celebration
Okie..
Vicky is Gerard's neighbour
So get where's the point going out to??
Hmmmm...
Gerard's Mum was in vIcky's place
Was real scary
Once i entered the hse with him..everyone started smiling
Was so clear cut, that they knew that smt was fishy
Intially, we pretended as if we donnoe each other
Vicky introduced me as his friend to the ppl( ALL aunties la..(baby boy's mum,vicky's mum etc.) arnd N then he went over to his friends
Was a total disaster
Gerard was standing at one corner
Me at the other
No eye contact.no smiles.Ntn at all.
The aunties were asking me to take a seat
"Yea, thankz..hold on a sec!"
That was my reply
I didn't noe anyone there
Take a seat n do wat??
No teenagers there to talk to also
Actually there was....
Many indeed
1 WHOLE DANCE GRP INSIDE THE ROOM
But all sooooooooo anjadi looking
so..u see..it's safer to be arnd aunties than all those loosu
Worst still, the seat that was available was DIRECTLY OPPOSITE gerard's mum
After awhile i went over to sit
Gerard was standing behind his mum
No conversation
All aunties talking
Happily laughing away
I was feeling damn bloody hopeless
If onli they gave me a piece of long cloth..i wud have covered my face
But too bad!!
ALready waiting to cover my face with cloth n then my darling called me up and introduced to his mum
~CONVERSATION 1~
Gerard- Lavanya..Come here!
Gerard- Amma, this is lavanya
Mum- Hi
Lavanya-Hi, Happy deepavalli!
Mum- Oh, same to you 2
< mum turned towards gerard,donnoe wat she whispered and signalled>
Gerard--NO no..friend only!
End of conversation!!
I went over to my seat
Sat directly opposite her
Hoping there wud be some attempt of conversation being hooked up
Ntn at all
The aunties were talking among themselves & watching TV
Wat else to do
I watched too
Then the aunties were calling him to sit dwn
Finally the stubborn idiot went over to take a seat
Still no conversation between me n him
~2ND CONVERSATION~
mum- What is she doing?
Gerard- Yaaru ma?
Idiot, act innocent onli
Mum- She la!!
Gerard- Studying
Mum- Where?
Gerard- RP
Mum- wat course?
Gerard- Biomedical science
-------SILENCE---------------
Mum-Where she stay?
Gerard- Serangoon Central
End of conversation
LALA SPEAKS TO HERSELF!!
I'm JUst sitting directly opposite her
Y didn't she ask me???
Omy god..where is this going to?
Wa lao..cannot make it sia
So stern
Kilinchithu la!!!
Vicky..life saVer comes by...
Calls me over to the room
Yes...at last i can get out of sight
But then..this gal comes up
soooo damn familiar
she smiles n saes hi
how r u?
Both of us went over to the kitchen n tat's wen she said u look very familiar
Okie..then i got it..i asked her if she worked at newton pizza hut
N yep..
AT last la..someone spoke to me
Someone knows me dwn there other than vicky n gerard
Followed her to the room..
Gerard was there too
The moment i enter he asked me to go n eat with his mum
I was CURSING N SWEARING
*Jeez* eat with his mum
NO commuication
FEEL SO WIERD
STILL CAN SAE GO EAT WITH MY MUM
But wat to do..cannot tell him i not happy mah!!
so just told him to follow too
Okie la..baby now u noe right!!hehe!
While takin food, he slowly told me that his mum knew everything
I was so damn bloody shocked
Stituation getting more tensed
While eating also no conversation
choooooooooooooo sad!!!
After eating... went back to the seat
Sat there n watched tv
Suddenly, he got up frm his seat
~3rd conversation~
Gerard-- lavanya, u come here n sit..talk to my mum|| Amma u talk to her..she very scared
That idiot just went into the room leaving me dwn there!
Mum- how's life?
Lavanya- Pretty fine aunty
Mum--How many siblings u have?
Lavanya- 2
Mum- elder or younger?
Lavanya-- Younger aunty... i'm the eldest
Mum--oh k
Lavanya- brother's sec 2,sister is 6 yrs old
mum- Wa..small gal ah
LAvanya- yea, age gap alot
Mum- but nvm wat... she will be the sayang in the hse...the pet right
lavanya-- haha, ya she is!
Lavanya-- How abt yr parents? both working
Mum-- Yah both also working!!
Mum-- So tell me more about yr course
lavanya-- hmm..ntn much! Just into research n stuff..medicines
Mum-- So wat u planning to do after u graduate?
lavanya--Get my degree..do till P.H.D aunty! Tat's my aim.
Mum-- Oh okay. that's nice to hear! what do you want to major in?
Lavanya-- I wanna just get involved in research
Mum--okay
---PAUSE------
mum-- So has gerard gone to yr house?
lavanya--No never
Mum-Have u seen his brother
Lavanya---O yah, He introduced me to him..i saw him
Mum-- Wa!! These 2 fellos didn't even utter a single word
A big grin on my innocent face! he's gonna be in deep shit ltr!
Okie..n then the conversation went on smoothly
Dived into other areas
Nice one
Was getting late..
Wanted to leave
Went over to his mum n told that i was leaving
sHE STARTED TO find out what bus goes
Which would be easier for me
Travelling time & all
hehe!!
She gave a bigger surprise
She asked him to bring me over to their hse
ROMBA ROMBA SWEET!!!
So all the 3 of us went over..
The house was very beautiful
The living room especially
The colour combination
Real nice
She was extra sweet...
Noe y?
she asked me to go over to his room n take a look
hehe!!
So yea went over to take a look with him
SUper clean
I mean for a guy's room..yea, his is super neat
Yea, baby room was very well kept thou i said it looked so terrible
was just kidding
I was invited by her to the kitchen too
YES!!!
after suthi paakuran the hse...left the place
Headed back home with him
He came till serangoon!!
A wonderful day
Thou it was very miserable during the start
The final part just took over everything
SPLENDID!
Real glad that i met his mum
One side CLEARED!!!
Baby..U looked super gd today!
Soooooo handsome in that long sleeve!!!
Too attracted to u today
I simply love u so much!
~muaCkz~
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too... ;
